


Delirious

by MaevesChild



Series: My Kind of Freak Show [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 07:23:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5325587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaevesChild/pseuds/MaevesChild





	Delirious

The sun streamed through the holes in the wall in dappled blotches.  It reminded her of the way the sun used to stream between the leaves of the trees, back when trees had leaves.  This was as close as she was going to get here and now, but it wasn’t a bleak thought. She was content, laying here in this old bed curled up against the warmth of Hancock’s back.  

When she stepped out into the ravaged horror outside Vault 111, she had expected only death and desolation.  It was nice to be a little wrong, at least.

She ran her fingers over his bare shoulder, down his back to his spine over his leathery but strangely soft skin.  At first he and all the others like him seemed strange, almost frightening, but now she was intrigued by the whorls and ridges in his flesh.  Her hand travelled back to his arm, where scars decorated over the curves of wiry muscle underneath.  

He made a soft noise in his sleep and settled back against her.  His hand came up over hers and he slipped his fingers between hers, pulling her arm around him, tucking their clasped hands against his chest.  

“Mornin’ sunshine,” he said, gravely voice still groggy with sleep.

She pressed a kiss to his shoulder.  “Morning.”

He made that happy little noise again; she felt the rumble of it in her chest.  Finally he’d stopped making self deprecating comments every time she touched him.  The sex was one thing, but gentle affection? He struggled with that sometimes.  The first time she kissed him it was completely innocent, just lips softly against his cheek but he’d shrunk back like she’d slapped him.  He was terrified she was trying to humor him.  

She wasn’t. She wanted to touch him.  Made it seem real and not just a hazy dream; gratitude for one of the many times he’d leapt into the thick of things to save her neck. Hancock had great confidence in his abilities with all his weapons, but not so much in the rest of himself.

They didn’t talk about it, not much, only the once when he’d told her how it happened; how he’d intentionally become a ghoul because he hated himself so much that it was the closest he could come to suicide without actually dying.  Maybe his eyes weren’t like hers, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t recognize real pain when she saw it.  She hadn’t brought it up again.

It didn’t matter that he was a ghoul or whatever other crappy names they called people like him.  He was just a man, no matter what he looked like, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t curious about it, about what it was like.

Like this, relaxed and warm and naked against her, maybe now she could ask her questions.  What did it feel like? She wanted to know all about him, even the stuff that was hard to talk about.  She kissed him again, this time letting her lips linger.  She loved the way his skin felt, the way it tasted.  She didn’t want him to be any different than he was right now but she wanted to know.

“Did it hurt?” she asked, her lips brushing over his skin when she spoke.

“Did what hurt?” He chuckled.  “You using teeth back there?”

She grinned, rubbed her cheek against him.  “Not unless you ask nicely.”  She took a quick breath and continued.  She didn’t want to let him change the subject.  “No, did it hurt when…”  It was harder to just say it than she expected.  “When you...changed.  When you became a ghoul.”

“Oh, that.”  She felt sudden tension in his back but she just squeezed him tighter.  She could feel his breathing get shallower.  “Yeah.”  It sounded like he was talking between clenched teeth.  “Yeah, it did. Like a bitch.”

She kissed him again.  “I’m sorry.”

Hancock rolled over to look at her, disentangling them in the process.  She felt cold when he wasn’t touching her.  

“What’re you sorry for? You change your mind?”

Her heart sunk.  That wasn’t what she meant at all.  She got her arm out from under her so she she could put both her hands on his face.  He resisted a little but then relented when she didn’t let go, fingers grabbing the ridge of his jaw.

“Hancock,” she started.  “John.  Stop.”

He closed his eyes. A crease appeared between where his eyebrows would have been, if he’d had any.  She wanted to kiss it, kiss him but she was afraid he’d just pull away.  Last night in the dark he hadn’t been shy, but he liked the dark for a variety of reasons.

“John,” she said again, pleading with him to actually hear her.  “I’m sorry that it hurt you, because I’m glad you did it.”

His eyes opened and he blinked at her.  “Why?”

“Because you wouldn’t be here otherwise,” she tried to explain, hoping he’d hear her sincerity.  “Who knows what would have happened if you hadn’t.  So many turns in this road, it would have been so easy to miss each other out here.”  She smiled at him.  “I love this face because it’s yours. I don’t care what you or anyone else says, you are absolutely gorgeous.  So I’m sorry it hurt but I’m not sorry it happened.”

The corner of his mouth quirked.  “That’s a fucked up way of telling me you love me.”

“It’s a fucked up world.”

“You ain’t kidding, sister.”  He chuckled and she felt the weight of his face leaning against her palms as he relaxed in towards her.  “It’s times like this I know there ain’t nothing to that karma shit. Because I think about what I could have done to deserve you and there ain’t much.”

“There’s plenty.”  She slipped her hands from his face to wrap them around his neck instead, leaning back at the same time.  He moved easy now as she rolled on to her back.  She pulled him towards her until his chest was resting on top of her.  He was warm, always warm and she loved that too.

He grinned at her.  “Well, damn woman.”  The trepidation was gone from his voice.  Instead, he was just smiling at her wickedly, leaning in close until she could feel his breath ghosting over her face.  “You know what happens now.”

“Damn well hope so.”  She smiled back.  She smiled more than was sane in a world so entirely crazy. Her life had literally been blown to pieces.  But this was good.  It was so damn good that at first it made her heart ache with guilt.  She didn’t let it for long.  She couldn’t live like that.  Didn’t change anything to be miserable.

Hancock kissed her.  His lips were thin and rough and his mouth tasted like cigarettes and whiskey and sleep and she didn’t care for a second.  She brushed her tongue over his, loving how he immediately reacted, climbing over until he was on top of her completely, her thighs on either side of his narrow hips.  His skin was so hot, hotter where his cock shifted and pulsed as the blood rushed in.

She pushed her hips up against him and he moved just enough so he could slip inside her.  Her eyes practically rolled back in her head.  God, there was nothing in the world that could have prepared her for how amazing that always was.  That leathery, ridged texture of his skin was everywhere, even on his cock.  He was probably amazing and hung before, but his skin made every nerve in her body scream.  There wasn’t anything at all ugly about him, no matter what stupid bigots said. He hilted himself in her and she made a sound that would have made a professional blush.

Hancock chuckled and buried his face in her neck, kissing along her throat.  She wriggled her hips and he stopped dead, shivering against her.  

“Damn woman,” he hissed.  “You’re gonna kill me, but what a way to go.”

Before she could move again, he flipped them over so she was straddling him.  She folded her legs and sat up, shifting her hips.  She couldn’t help but rub herself against him, even if she’d wanted to stay still.  She rode him hard, fast, frantically grinding herself against him, loving the way the sharp ridges of his pelvis bit into the soft skin on her legs.  It was impossible to breathe but fuck air, all she needed was this.  His cock was inside her and the too loud sound of flesh on flesh everyone in the damn settlement could probably hear.  She didn’t care.  It was too good.  She felt herself slip right up to the edge, muscles gripping hard on him, her vision going blurry at the edges. His fingers gripped her hips.

Her orgasm rolled over her, that sort of black-out sensation that she felt all the way to her toes.  He throbbed inside of her, she felt him come hard and she swore she understood why they called this the ‘little death’ because she could die right now and that would be just fine.  Her breath came in ragged gasps, a fine sheen of sweat coated her skin.  She was dizzy.  

“That was….”  She couldn’t find the words.

“This feeling is better than the chems.”  He smirked.  “Well, maybe 80% as good.”  

She leaned over and kissed him hard, heart hammering in her chest.

“I love you too, you stupid asshole,” she muttered against his mouth. Hancock laughed as he wrapped his arms around her back and held her tight.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”  He said it so quietly she almost couldn’t hear him over her pulse in her ears.  

Maybe none of this was the best thing that could have happened to her.  In a lot of ways, everything since she woke up had been a fucking nightmare.  But this, maybe this was her one thing to hold on to.  

Nate would have wanted her to be happy.  And John made her deliriously happy even when she didn’t think it would be possible.  

Everything was fucked up. But right now she was happy and that was good enough.


End file.
